Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Fifty Shades.

It has been a few months in the making, but I too, am experiencing a phenomenon similar to that of the "Fifty Shades of Grey" rage that is sweeping the nation.

Months ago, after a particularly stressful/hectic/crazy/annoying day at work, I went on a blind date for margaritas at Rosepepper.  Since then, I have been spending a large majority of my time with an incredibly handsome and charming individual.  Standing at 6'3" with a football player's build, my new gentleman friend, who has lovingly been dubbed 'Jambo' by Holly, is a real tall drink of dark chocolate milk.  My sweet tooth really flared up after my fling with Bro, and so far, has been satiated quite well.  

Things have been going fairly casually between the two of us, however, I have not been seeing anyone else.  I'll spare everyone from going into the same raunchy detail that "Fifty Shades" goes into, as I could write up a much steamier tale of completely unadulterated lust anyway, and frankly you can keep "Fifty Shades of Grey", I have one shade of black.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Apply Within.

As I put the finishing touches on my recap of Pride weekend, please take just a few moments to enjoy this gem of a message I received awhile back on Plenty Of Fish.

Bjrr82 writes:  "im a cute guy who is very nice!!!and i just want to fall in love!!!i would treat my man sooo good!!and im very straight acting(im actuaslly bisexual)and prefer the same!! i enjoy going out and kicking it!!!back in july of 2005 i had a very bad car wreck!!i was working and in school and i was exhausted!!i went out drinking after work!and fell asleep at the wheel and hit a tree!!i might injured my brain!!but im ok!im alive and not crippled!thanks god!!!!!im actually a better brent!!and i want a black guy or latino!!!! yu can send me a mssage back to me or apply!! im vgl and cute to so plz be to!!! im srious about geting a man hope your to!!"

I challenge anyone to take a shot for each spelling/grammar error found in the above message.  I'm sure this makes me an awful person for critiquing the message from a man who may or may not have a brain injury, but it is what it is.  Unfortunately; I am not bisexual, black, or Latino so I don't think I meet the specific criteria he is looking for, and frankly I'm not in the job market.

Friday, June 15, 2012

The Man, The Myth, The Legend.

And Frankly is completely backed up with a ton of incredible stories...but don't fret, I won't keep you hanging too much longer.  Until then, please enjoy this message I received on a dating site not too long ago:

TnMightyTHor:   "I will protect and defend, or invade and annihilate your realm!
who ever holds this hammer and is found worthy shall possess
the power of THOR! A weapon to destroy or a tool to build, a fit companion for a king! you swear to cast aside all selfish ambition, to pledge your self only to the good of the realm of THORofASSgard? I will take what is rightfully mine! All the answers you seek will be your once I reclaim your ass! What you seek you will find soon enough! But you are Brave to do think me strange, good strange or bad strange?

Entering your realm to test your strength and prove my agility and fierceness!
what mortal hath aroused my lUST!?! you know not what you will unleash!!!"

It is 2012, people.  Who talks like this??  I'm not sure if this was a role-playing fantasy or an actual way of life, but I simply had to reply to Thor that I am completely unable to cast aside my selfish ambition, I do not need to be protected, defended, and/or annihilated.  I wished Thor all the luck in the world in his hunt for a primitive submissive, and frankly my ass is not in the market to be "reclaimed."