Friday, September 30, 2011

Bushwacked.

Although I don't have much of an explanation, other than the infamous 'we should see other people' text, Paratrooper and I are doing exactly that.  But fret not, friends, I did manage to get a fifth of whiskey out of the deal, so it was not a complete bust.

With that being said, I needed to get back out and collect some blog material.  I decided to meet up with a guy at 3Crow this week after my regularly scheduled margarita night.  3Crow had two-for-one drafts, and since I already had a couple-ish margaritas in me and it was a school night, I opted for the drafts instead of the infamous bushwacker.

It wasn't an actual date of sorts, it was really more of a "hey, let's meet for drinks" situation.  We grabbed seats up at the bar, ordered a round and started chatting.  The conversation was enjoyable, he's a music buff and put a great effort into convincing me of all the reasons why I needed to go to Bonaroo, I had to assure him that for the simple fact that I like to wear shoes and take showers, Bonaroo probably was not in my future any time soon.

The second round of beers came up and we were still chatting away having a fairly enjoyable time, and just like that, we were moving on to round 3.  It wasn't terribly late yet, so I figured why not just stay out a bit longer, what's the worst that could happen?

Just as round 4 was being served, and as I was in motion to take a giant sip.  My ex walked in.  Not just any ex.  This ex was from college, from sophomore year, in Michigan.  I am sitting at the Mecca to all of East Nashville's hipsters and my ex GIRLFRIEND walks into the bar.  That's correct, this particular ex is of the female variety.  We dated back in college when I was still dealing the Bi card, or perhaps the Tri card...I'd try anything once.

Before I knew it, I was choking from shock and had Bud Lite coming out of my nose.  I am sure I was quite the sight, with beer fizz burning the insides of my nostrils, my eyes tearing up, and trying to catch a breath as my ex-college girlfriend lets out an enthusiastic scream, waves, and runs over.  She and I have not really kept in touch since we broke up, on Valentine's Day, back in the dorms during sophomore year.  We are still FaceBook friends, why wouldn't we be?

Back in college she had every piece of Tiffany's 'Return To' collection imaginable and drove a Lexus.  She was definitely a spoiled Sorostitute and was the type of person who attended college for her Mrs. degree as opposed an actual field of academia.  Come to think of it, I'm fairly certain she majored in Communication.  Don't get me wrong, she was hot, questionably fake boobs and all, but I never imagined I would ever see her again, let alone in East Nashville, in 3Crow Bar of all places.  Sure enough, she remembered just who I was and gave me an almost awkwardly long, you're starting to choke me, sort of hug.

She asked how I'd been, which is always a bit difficult to answer when you haven't seen someone in about 6 years.  If she ever had partaken in the casual sport of light FaceBook stalking, surely she'd know a thing or two about the last few years of my life.  Afterall, I'm sporting a picture of myself decked out in a stunning red sequin gown.

I was still so completely shocked about even seeing her, that I completely forgot to introduce my date or even pay attention to anything she was rambling on about.  She told me she's in town for just a couple of days, sort of passing through for work.  Idly chatting with my ex seemed like it was taking forever, and not at any point in the conversation did anyone she would have come to the bar with step over to see where she had gone off to.  She seemed to go on forever about her days post-undergrad, and now that I wasn't shocked, I was losing interest.  Suddenly, in one quick breath she said "We should grab drinks, who is your friend?"

It still had no occurred to me that proper introductions had yet to be made, and to keep this night from getting any stranger, because now I was worried that she'd want to pull up a seat and stay even longer, all I could say was "Well I'm gay, and we're on a date."

I thought for sure this would throw her for a loop, no ex girlfriend wants to hear that her ex boyfriend is a homo, right?  And she must have known that she was the last girl I dated, right?

I fully expected her to be quite upset, but she cheerfully replied; "Fun!"

Well at the moment, this was probably as much fun as a one legged man in a kicking contest would be having and now I regretted not getting the bushwacker.   After a bit more idle conversation, my ex said she should probably get going but wanted to make sure that I still had her number.

Why on Earth would I still have her number?!  Being polite, I took her number and said I'd shoot her a text...which of course has yet to happen...she hugged me again, said she'd still love to get drinks, and ended the conversation with "gay, huh? so fun."

This was not so fun, more like so bizarre, and with my luck I've probably just created a new hag.  Now when it comes to dating, nothing surprises me anymore.  I just need to roll with the punches, and frankly,  I've been bushwacked.  

No comments:

Post a Comment