Sunday, February 6, 2011

Single's Awareness Day.

The cashier at Kroger must know by now that I am completely single.  At 7:45 last night I was purchasing a can of coffee, a frozen pizza, and a handful of Reese's Peanut Butter eggs.  I tried to use the U-Scan so that no one else would be exposed to my pathetic Saturday night shopping spree at the grocery store, but sadly they were either shut down or the lines were too long.

However, before I had checked out at Kroger, I was bombarded with aisles and displays chock full of Valentine's Day crap.  Red and pink hearts, I Luv You balloons, and every kind of stuffed animal imaginable was jam packed onto any end-cap or center fixture available.  I became immediately annoyed by the onslaught of junk everywhere I looked.  Now this has nothing to do with me being single or not, but I despise Valentine's Day.  I absolutely without a doubt hate the whole day and idea behind it.  My love for someone can't be summed up through a Hallmark card and a mylar balloon, or an overpriced dinner that I had to book weeks in advance just to guarantee my date and I a reservation at an overrated chain restaurant.  I prefer holidays that have real substance and meaning such as Christmas or St. Patrick's Day.  And to add insult to injury, it's just a reminder that I'm single.  I don't need a holiday to remind me of anything, especially not my lack of a meaningful relationship...my receipt for frozen dinners and extremely premature Easter candy is reminder enough.

Even when I was in a serious relationship, I have never been fond been of Valentine's day...although for one Valentine's day, my jackass of an ex decided to get himself a tattoo as mine and his gift...to himself.  Fret not, the tattoo wasn't our initials, or my name, or anything of the sorts...it was a horseshoe that had smoke coming off of it as though it had just been branded to his chest.  Looking back now, that should have been a sign that we weren't meant to be together...

Another Valentine's Day is quickly approaching, and I have no prospects for a Valentine of my own, which is actually fine because I am never in the mood to buy some stupid ass cliche VDay junk.  I think my disdain for the holiday stems back to early elementary school when we were forced to give a Valentine's Day card to every student in the class, no matter if we liked them or not.  Why should I have to give a card to everyone?  It's not my fault I wasn't friends with the smelly kid, or the kid who had a lisp, or the one who always seemed to have gum or paste stuck in her hair.  I can't help it that I was so popular that everyone wanted to be friends with me and my paper wrapped shoe box was often stuffed to the brim with other people's love and affection.  

Now as a 26 year old, completely eligible bachelor, I try to avoid all Valentine's related things at any costs.  I chose the peanut butter eggs over peanut butter hearts as a silent protest to the ridiculous holiday.  Any relationship or dating prospect that comes along within in the next 8 days will just have to deal without a little teddy bear holding onto a heart full of cheap chocolate, perhaps I'll just give out a handful of conversation hearts that have been updated for 2011 by saying 'Tweet Me'.  Although I consider myself to be a hopeless romantic, Valentine's Day is something I never plan to take part in, and frankly, we should just skip February 14th and move along to March 17th.

1 comment:

  1. hahaha I always hated his horseshoe tattoo!!

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