Monday, January 31, 2011

Top Gun.

It has been yet another uneventful weekend, hence the lack of posts.  I spent Saturday night curled up on the couch with a Jack and Coke and the ABC Family Original sequel 'Mean Girls 2'....

If that does not scream single, I am not sure what does.

The only things that would top if off were if I had a frozen dinner, a stack of US Weekly, and a cat curled up on my lap.  'Mean Girls 2' was by no means on par with the original, and it quickly became clear that no amount of Jack would make this bomb of a movie any better.  After about 20 minutes, I gave up on the flick and headed up to the attic.  I'd spend the rest of my evening reading a book and wondering why I haven't been able to bump into my future husband at the bookstore or a quaint little coffee shop.  I was not even in the mood to check any of my dating site emails...I was certain nothing interesting was coming my way.

Sunday was filled with an action packed day of work.  As soon as 7:00p rolled around, I was fired up and ready to get the hell out of the mall.  Afterall, it was a Sunday evening, and by this point, Showtunes was well under way and I couldn't stand to miss another second of it.  I made it across town and showed up to the bar in record time, and was quickly joined by my good friend, J-Hett.

I'm a sucker for showtunes and cheap pitchers of beer...and the two together are a great combination.  Plus, add in someone who shares my same passion and it's bound to be an enjoyable evening.

No one was really catching my eye at the bar, so I mostly kept to my friends and sang along with J-Hett.  Next thing I knew, I had a lurker just over my shoulder.  I'm pretty particular about my personal space, unless I actually know you and we're engaged in conversation.  I'm never too crazy about someone standing within inches of me, practically breathing down my neck.  J-Hett and I tried to move away just a bit by doing somewhat of a little shuffle dance a few feet to the left of where we had been standing.

My shuffle-dance-away attempt had been foiled, and Lurker made his way over too.  He did a little circle around us but moved away from our general vicinity.  I thought we were in the clear and I proceeded to pour her and I another drink and belt out 'Elephant Love Medley'.  

Just when I thought the coast was clear, Lurker was back...however this time he went after J-Hett.  It must have been the delightful vintage shirt dress that J-Hett was wearing.  I told her she looked great in it, and it must have been true...it helped her pick up a homo!  Lurker blew past me and quickly introduced himself to J-Hett and began singing along with her, but all the while keeping one eye and a sly grin on me.  J-Hett apparently had become my wing-man, in the matter of minutes.  Clearly I am the Maverick, and J-Hett is Goose, but in this story, the wing-man doesn't die.  The whole situation was odd, as he didn't actually introduce myself to me.  He was quick to strike up a conversation with J-Hett and dove right into chatting about various musicals.  Of course my competitively jealous streak kicked in, I got passed up for a girl at a gay bar!      

After taking matters into my own hands and doing a little investigative work, I was able to learn the Lurker's name and that the Lurker is actually in a relationship. Suddenly I didn't feel so bad that J-Hett is better at picking up gay guys than I am, she can have them if they're already off the market...they won't do me any good.

Showtunes came to an end, and J-Hett and I parted ways.  It was another uneventful weekend, but I now have a newly acquired wing-man, and frankly, she may come in handy in weeding out any more lurkers from bothering me.  

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