Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Aye Papi!

I did a pretty good of making it clear that I wasn't interested in a 'boi', and was seeking a man, but apparently I needed to be a bit more specific than that.

A couple of days I ago I was messaged by a 39 year old gentleman who shall be referred to as G.  He started the conversation with a simple greeting;
"dammmm baby boi u are one hottie ummmm" 

Not entirely sure how to respond, I simply said thanks.  I didn't even have to glance at his profile to know that I wouldn't be interested...a whole handful of my pet peeves in just one sentence is always a turn-off.  He then followed by saying "your bio says u would be hard to handle dammm i bet thats rite"

Well it's true, I am hard to handle and I wasn't really in the mood to further the conversation, so I said "yup". Then I got this gem of a message;

"ummmm u ever need a daddy i want to apply sexy guy, would love to try and plzzz u in any way u wanted me to ;) ummm damm jus the thought makes me break out in a cold sweat, lol, would love to jus give u a bodacious bj one day :)"

It took me a moment to collect my thoughts before I could respond to G. Unfortunately for him, I'm actually not in need of a 'daddy', as my biological father is alive and well and just celebrated a birthday. On top of that, I'm not interested in anything that could be described as 'bodacious'.

After my brief and uncomfortable chat with G, I quickly perused my profile to see where I had mentioned that I was interested in a 'daddy'. A few quick seconds later, and not seeing one mention of this odd fetish, I was satisfied that G was simply a fluke, and somehow he was to blame to thinking up such an absurd situation on his own.

Are younger guys actually interested in much older, heavier, and wrinkly-ier guys to think of as a 'daddy'? The closest thing I've had to a daddy was my ex, and he really was a dad...he had 3 children, but he was only a few years older than I was...not a few decades.

Thinking this wave had passed, and this was just one more oddity to add to the ever-growing list of freaks I attract, I was greeted with a message from an even older gentleman. He first asked if I were into older guys, to which I said that it depends on the guy.

I mean come on, Anderson Cooper is a bit older than me, and if he came my way, I would be interested. However, Nick Nolte is older than I am too and there isn't enough Jack in the world to get me interested in that.

The older gentleman then replied that 'Depends' may be a necessity when dealing with older guys, to which I said "If that's the case, I sure as hell am not interested." He quickly tried to defend that he was making a joke, but it was too late, that ship had sailed.

I'm not sure when I gave off the vibe that I wanted a 'boi' or a 'daddy'...but that certainly is not the case. Where is someone my age? At this point I'm almost willing to relax my apparently too high standards if I could chat with a nice twenty-something year old. I don't think my interests are hard to come by, and frankly, if the daddies got with the bois they could all stop bothering me.

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