I have been mostly good all year. I am a law abiding and tax paying citizen. Furthermore, I recycle as often as I can, I am well educated, in decent shape, fairly attractive, and incredibly outgoing. I do not lie, cheat, or steal. I work very hard for everything that I have, and I strive to be as best as I can in all that I do. With that being said, my Christmas list is very small this year.
First and foremost, I would really like to have a Kitchen Aid mixer, preferably in pistachio green. This should not be too difficult of a request to fulfill, and I would be ecstatic to find this under the Christmas tree on December 25.
Second, and this request may be a bit more difficult, but I would very like a decent date. At this point, it does not even need to be incredible or even good...it can just be mediocre. However, there are some stipulations, I'd like the date to have the following qualities:
-Roughly my age, within 5 years.
-Roughly my height and build, and for reference 5'8" with a 36 inch waist is not considered 'average'.
-Educated beyond a high school diploma.
-Their own car and a job.
-The ability to use your, you're, they're, their, there, it's and its correctly.
-A witty and sarcastic sense of humor, I need someone to keep me in check.
-Someone who can sit through a college football and/or basketball game...bonus if they enjoy Michigan State at least half as much as I do.
-Some who enjoys cold beer and whiskey, as I have a new found love for the Whiskey Kitchen, and they would have to frequent it with me.
-Someone fairly active to run with, because I plan to run the Music City Half Marathon in the spring.
-Fairly easy on the eyes would be great, preferably dark haired.
-A nonsmoker would be nice as well.
Those are just the basics, the minor details can be worked out later.
Santa, I don't think this should be too difficult. I've already weeded out half of Nashville through my dating profiles, so I know that I don't want anyone from a missed connection, who could legally be considered a 'little person', who watches Michigan football or who speaks in Ebonics. I also don't care for anyone into vampires.
I am not too picky, I just have a few simple requests. If Santa can travel around the entire world in one night, surely he can find me a decent date that fits my criteria. I realize it is much easier said than done, but after all it's Santa, and frankly it seems like I'll just have to enjoy a pistachio green Kitchen Aid mixer.