Monday, December 20, 2010

From A Distance.

Working retail full time during the holiday season is seriously cutting into my social life.  Not only does it severely cut into the time that I have to put myself into awkward dating situations, it also limits the time that I have to write about my awkward dating situations.

However, luckily I had a Saturday night off, and was able to make it out for KD's going away party.  Nothing can spice up a single guy's dating life like a party in East Nashville with a room mostly full of the gays.

The night stated off like any other party night, my drink was full and I was mingling with the crowd.  I was enjoying conversation, flip cup, and a bit of dancing.  Suddenly my phone was blowing up with multiple text messages from another guest at the party.  It turns out that some guy I had chatted with over the summer, but never actually met in person, was in attendance at the party as well and had spotted me on the dance floor.  I quickly glanced around the room to see if I could spot the guy who was admiring from afar. I really was not having any luck, but the text messages kept on coming.  In a room full of gays, everyone is text messaging, Facebooking, or Tweeting...all of the time.  Everywhere I looked, someone was fiddling with their phone, so figuring out who was texting me was going to be like finding me at a party without a drink.

I actually get really uncomfortable in these sorts of situations.  I don't like being admired from afar while being messaged about it.  It crosses the line from admiration and tip-toes on becoming an episode of Dateline's 'To Catch A Predator'.  My mysterious texter was not giving up any hints, but was claiming to be too shy to approach me to say hello.  Apparently I do not recall what Mystery Man looks like whatsoever because I really could not determine who he was but he had a good view of me, and on top of that, I was entirely too sober for this game...this was playing waaaayyy too hard to get, even for my taste.

With the stalker-esque messages filling up my inbox, I was starting to become annoyed.  However, as my annoyance was peaking someone actually did come up to say hello and introduce himself...in person.    I began chatting with someone new, and decided that if Mystery Man wanted to say hello to me that badly, he could grow a pair and come say hi...sans cell phones.  I sparked up convo with a new guy, but quickly found out he wasn't any more exciting than Mystery Man.  He was incredibly soft spoken, almost awkwardly so, and seemingly quite shy as well.  I am neither of those things, so I need someone who is on level with me in that department.  We soon ran out of things to talk about and began to make extremely idle chit chat.  I was quickly losing interest in this conversation as well...and the deal breaker came when he told me that he was studying to be an actor.  At this point in time I needed another refill and to find someone entertaining to talk to.

Just as I was trying to come up with an excuse to exit this conversation, and I must have looked as though I were struggling to leave an uncomfortable situation, I caught the eye of a yet another guy.  He must have noticed the angst on my face, and stepped in to relieve me from the conversation that I apparently could not get myself out of.

I gave up trying to figure out who the Mystery Man was and with the other conversation over, I could now focus on the one who saved me.  With a new drink in hand, I was able to chat it up with this new guy.  His dark hair and eyes coupled with a killer smile caught my attention, and oddly enough, he seems to be just as big of a sarcastic smart ass as I am.  It wasn't long before he was matching my snarky remarks, and was even able to one up me with the sharp tongue.  That's a rare find, I thought for sure I was one of a kind.

In just the span of an hour, I went through two guys and was onto the third, but I suppose the first one doesn't really count since his identity was never revealed.  This was a mini speed dating party apparently, but I think I was the only one going through guys like I was going through my cup of beer.  I spent the rest of the evening chatting with the Smart Ass, and we ended up exchanging numbers as well.

As the night drew to a close, and I had moved from beer to Jack and Coke, Smart Ass wanted to know who was taking who home.  Since I love having the upper hand in any situation and I like my own bed,  I decided The Attic would be where I was sleeping...he could join if interested, but it wasn't about to be a hookup.

At the end of the night, I took interest in the one who had the balls to just walk up and say hello, keep the conversation exciting, and had the wit to keep me in check, and frankly, predators and aspiring actors aren't my cup of tea.

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