Sunday, November 7, 2010

You've Got Mail.

My Missed Connection has been responding faster than I can keep up.  He is blowing up my inbox.

Most recently I have received this correspondence:

"No pressures here either and I agree that maybe meeting a new friend is cool.    Are you bi too?    How old are you?   I remember how sexy you looked, maybe I was feeling extra horny that day but you certainly caught my eye.  Have you connected with a guy before?   I have another married buddy of mine and we get together from time to time to play around.

I hope this isn't being to forward and I am certainly not saying that this might be your interests, but that is cool if it was"

It figures that this could not just be someone interested in a grabbing coffee at the Starbucks in which this 'connection' took place.  After reading through this gem of a message, my mind was flooded with many many thoughts.  

First, according to his last message he was straight, or bi-curious.  But now he's telling me how sexy I looked.  Why would a straight man tell another man how sexy he looked?  And also, I was behind my sunglasses, in a car ahead of him.  He could only see me through my sideview mirror.  For all he knows I could just have been a torso sitting on a stack of phone books in my car.  He didn't actually see me standing or anything.  

Secondly, I am not sure what his use of the phrase 'connected with a guy' means?  Like have I had a missed connection with a guy before?  No I have not, but now that I have, it is not living up to its expectations.  Have I had a relationship with a guy before?  Well yes I have had that, but that too didn't live up to its expectations either.

Third, it takes a classy gentleman to voice how horny he is to a complete stranger.

A red flag was raised when he came right out and said that he has a married friend, whom I can only assume is married to a woman, that he likes to fool around with.  I'm not ever looking for just a hookup with someone, but apparently my Missed Connection is bordering on the line of home-wrecker.

In closing he hopes he was not too forward by telling me he assists in the cheating of a man and his wife, and almost implies that he hopes a hookup will come from this. 

Deep down I was perhaps hoping that a Missed Connection would play out like a fairy tale love story.  Well scratch that, that just sounds stupid.  Perhaps it would be nice for a Missed Connection to be a friendship that lead to an exciting relationship.  For some reason, a hookup in the Starbucks drive-thru just does not sound as appealing to me.  In the movies this would totally have been two star-crossed lovers sharing a spark over coffee and going through great lengths to reconnect.  In my world, I come across a Jeep driving man, claiming to be 'curious' who probably just wants a piece of ass. 

The more I think about the whole concept of a Missed Connection, the more bewildered I become.  I could maybe, possibly, understand if this guy had been my barista at Starbucks, and after some light conversation which would have included him taking my drink ordered, decided that we could grab coffee sometime...that would perhaps make sense.  It doesn't make any sense to me that you could see a complete stranger in the car ahead of you, have no interaction whatsoever, and decide that you really wanted to meet up if for nothing more than just a hookup.  

Now I realize this falls on me too, as I actually replied to his ad, but I was just so damn excited to have a Missed Connection!  At this stage in the game I have no intentions with meeting up with Missed Connection, but email correspondences shall continue until I can at least get a picture of him, after all I would like to know what this fool looks like.  I'll try and get some personal information, perhaps his name or something so I can do some light Facebook-stalking, not that I have ever done that before to anyone, but inquiring minds need to know whom I am chatting with, and frankly, you never know what kind of dirt I could uncover.


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