I survived my Super Awesome Spartan Football Tailgate Birthday Roadtrip Extravaganza, and due to an unforeseen situation, I had to make the roadtrip alone. If nothing else, a date would have been nice just to accompany me on the 9 hour roadtrip up to Michigan. However, that is now water under the bridge, I made the trip solo, and had one hell of a time back in East Lansing with my closest friends. Long story short, it was an incredible weekend with my friends, plenty of drinks, and a Spartan victory.
The solo drive up gave me plenty of time to think. At this point in time, I am a free-agent. I have no strings attached to anyone or anything, especially not to a Missed Connection from a Starbucks drive-thru, though I have been talking a bit with a new fellow who shall remain nameless at the present time.
I have mixed feelings about being single and heading into the holiday season. I have been single for 2 years now, and even when I was in a relationship (perhaps I'll blog about it one day) I didn't actually do any couple sort of things for the holidays, or even receive any special gifts for Christmas. On one hand I think it would be great to be in a relationship at Christmas time, picking out a gift for a special someone actually does seem appealing to me. On the other hand, I'm broke, so not having a special someone to pick out a gift for will save me quite a bit of money!
Thinking back to how I spent my Christmases, and even my birthdays, with my then boyfriend, and how things ended between us...which was hours after my 24th birthday, I should be completely jaded to relationships and Christmas, and the combination of the two should set me over the edge. But I am not jaded, or over the edge. The hopeless romantic in me is dying to actually date someone. Not just random dinner dates, or coffee here and there, and I sure am not in the mood for any sort of buddy to mess around with...I mean actually date someone. I want to cook dinner, have morning coffee, and buy gifts just because, but an especially nice gift for Christmas.
Let's get serious here, heading into the holiday season, I need to ramp up my dating efforts. It's open season to find someone...who wouldn't want to fall in love during the holidays? I cannot possibly be a handsome, well educated, outgoing guy who can bake from scratch and loves a college football game with just a Nugget and a closeted Missed Connection interested in him. This just will not suffice.
Silverado pulled the "let's stay friends" card, and let's be honest...that probably will not suffice either. I am not friends with any of my exes, and though I cannot compare Silverado to an actual 'ex', I don't think much of a friendship will surface from the situation at hand. Like I said before, he's a great guy, but I barely have time to see the friends that I left back in Michigan, let alone make visits across the state to see new friends.
Now, I am not desperate by any means. I enjoy my free-agent status, I can basically do what I want, without having someone to report to. I am completely content with being single, I'm simply saying that a realtionship...when it's right....would be nice. I'm not one to force anything, the perk to Silverado being so far away was that we were able to actually get to know each other because all we could do was talk...jumping into bed right away wasn't an immediate option. It just came time that we were running things to talk about because we weren't able to do anything together...our separate lives were running out of mutual ground. I am not about to rush into something just for the sake of being in a relationship, I'd love to make a friend that progresses from there. The more that I think about it, I don't think anyone could rush into a relationship with me...I am a bit stubborn, sometimes off the wall, hard to handle, and frankly, loving me is a long shot gamble.