Sunday, November 28, 2010

The Perfect Date.

Yesterday, I got let go from work a few hours early, which is a rare and unusual occurrence on a Saturday afternoon during the Holiday Season.  I did not have anything planned for the afternoon, but I sure did not want to waste this wonderful gift that had been bestowed upon me.  It was a beautiful late November afternoon, with a brisk chill in the air, and the sun shining.  It was perfect for an outdoor date, and autumn outdoor dates are my favorite...unless it's a trip to the zoo in the late spring.

Not wanting to waste such a nice day, I checked in the with the boy I've been chatting with (whom still shall not be named just yet), but he was booked with school work for the day.  Determined to go on a date, and not be resigned to just sitting in The Attic for the rest of the day, I made the very best of my situation at hand:

I called up A-Lo to see what she had in store for the afternoon.

A-Lo, being single and quite a catch, much like myself, was free for the day as well.  I headed over to her apartment just in time to see the Spartans claim their share of the Big Ten Championship, and shortly after that we were off on our Afternoon Date Adventure.

We were casually, yet stylishly layered up, in plaids, sweaters, scarves, puffer vests, and aviators, and ready for the perfect weather and our perfect date.  We choose to explore the incredibly adorable and quaint world of Downtown Franklin.  It was a perfect little downtown, decked out for the holidays, with each shop front bursting with lights, christmas trees, shiny ornaments, and gift ideas.  A-Lo and I meandered down the street, and made sure to stop in each and every antique, decor, and knick-knack shop that lined the road.  Our date included stopping at the Irish pub for a bite to eat, before continuing to weave our way in and out of the shops.  Of course any perfect outdoor November date needs to include a stop in a coffee shop, so we hit up Starbucks for a warm drink to tide us over as we continued to explore.

It really was the perfect setting for the closest thing I have had to a perfect date in quite awhile...even if it was with a girl.  It was a beautiful brisk day spent in a picturesque downtown, some of my favorite things!  A-Lo and I decided we must just be too good of catches for people to handle, so we'll just date each other for the time being.  Me not being overly flamboyant, and able to call a football game, and A-Lo not being overly high maintenance, yet knows how to accessorize, we make a good couple.

As the sun was setting, and the shops were closing, we made our way back to A-Lo's apartment.  With noting having much else planned, but still the itch to do something, we called up our friend, TriSarahTopss, to meet up with us.  TriSarahTopss came over with wine in hand, and our group expanded to three.  After awhile, TriSarahTopss friend met up with us at A-Lo's apartment and the party was just getting started.  TriSarahTopss' friend just so happened to be a homo as well, and almost immediately the fawning over every male he could think of ensued.  I couldn't help but think how annoying this would get if it kept up much longer, and sure enough it continued on all night.  I am not one to fawn and drool over anyone, I have yet to meet someone who truly takes my breath away because of their devastatingly good looks.  I do think people are attractive or handsome, and if I am interested in you, I will make it known to you how I feel about your looks, but I very rarely refer to anyone as 'hot'.  

We finished off the wine, and the night was still young so A-Lo and TriSarahTopss decided to introduce to the Nashville gem known as Whiskey Kitchen.

A hip, trendy, whiskey bar.

I was in heaven, and this truly was the perfect date.

The four of us grabbed a table and ordered whiskey sours by the pitcher, and now with a room full of people, TriSarahTopss' friend was eye-raping everyone in site.  A-Lo and I were not about to take part in this activity, mostly because it's annoying.  After several attempts to guess which guy in the bar would be my type, or who I thought was hot or not, I had to finally tell the Homo-Friend to just give up.

Next thing A-Lo, TriSarahTopss, and I knew, we were the third, fourth and fifth wheels to a date Homo-Friend had set up...at our table.  It was almost as though we were inconveniencing this little date situation.  We suddenly were shunned from the group, but every once and awhile Homo-Friend's date included us in quite an elaborate story involving his grandmother, pills, addictions, and possibly the police on Thanksgiving day.

I pointed out to A-Lo that we were all a fairly attractive group of people and even Ro-Ro had shown up after work to join us, but the Date just did not fit in with us.  I would be all for it if your date had been Jake Gyllenhaal, but wasn't really feeling the addition of Roseanne Bar to the group.  Rumor has it that Homo-Friend and the Roseanne look alike needed to jump ship from our table because A-Lo and I were being too judgemental....so be it.

The night came to a close, and it was time to head home.  My perfect date was coming to a close.  I had very much enjoyed the time spent with A-Lo, TriSarahTopss, and Ro-Ro, and frankly, perhaps we'd just be better off dating each other...we clearly know how to have a good time.  

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Open Season.

I survived my Super Awesome Spartan Football Tailgate Birthday Roadtrip Extravaganza, and due to an unforeseen situation, I had to make the roadtrip alone.  If nothing else, a date would have been nice just to accompany me on the 9 hour roadtrip up to Michigan.  However, that is now water under the bridge, I made the trip solo, and had one hell of a time back in East Lansing with my closest friends.  Long story short, it was an incredible weekend with my friends, plenty of drinks, and a Spartan victory.

The solo drive up gave me plenty of time to think.  At this point in time, I am a free-agent.  I have no strings attached to anyone or anything, especially not to a Missed Connection from a Starbucks drive-thru, though I have been talking a bit with a new fellow who shall remain nameless at the present time.

I have mixed feelings about being single and heading into the holiday season.  I have been single for 2 years now, and even when I was in a relationship (perhaps I'll blog about it one day) I didn't actually do any couple sort of things for the holidays, or even receive any special gifts for Christmas.  On one hand I think it would be great to be in a relationship at Christmas time, picking out a gift for a special someone actually does seem appealing to me.  On the other hand, I'm broke, so not having a special someone to pick out a gift for will save me quite a bit of money!

Thinking back to how I spent my Christmases, and even my birthdays, with my then boyfriend, and how things ended between us...which was hours after my 24th birthday, I should be completely jaded to relationships and Christmas, and the combination of the two should set me over the edge.  But I am not jaded, or over the edge.  The hopeless romantic in me is dying to actually date someone.  Not just random dinner dates, or coffee here and there, and I sure am not in the mood for any sort of buddy to mess around with...I mean actually date someone.  I want to cook dinner, have morning coffee, and buy gifts just because, but an especially nice gift for Christmas.

Let's get serious here, heading into the holiday season, I need to ramp up my dating efforts.  It's open season to find someone...who wouldn't want to fall in love during the holidays?  I cannot possibly be a handsome, well educated, outgoing guy who can bake from scratch and loves a college football game with just a Nugget and a closeted Missed Connection interested in him.  This just will not suffice.

Silverado pulled the "let's stay friends" card, and let's be honest...that probably will not suffice either.  I am not friends with any of my exes, and though I cannot compare Silverado to an actual 'ex', I don't think much of a friendship will surface from the situation at hand.  Like I said before, he's a great guy, but I barely have time to see the friends that I left back in Michigan, let alone make visits across the state to see new friends.

Now, I am not desperate by any means.  I enjoy my free-agent status, I can basically do what I want, without having someone to report to.  I am completely content with being single, I'm simply saying that a realtionship...when it's right....would be nice.  I'm not one to force anything, the perk to Silverado being so far away was that we were able to actually get to know each other because all we could do was talk...jumping into bed right away wasn't an immediate option.  It just came time that we were running things to talk about because we weren't able to do anything together...our separate lives were running out of mutual ground.  I am not about to rush into something just for the sake of being in a relationship, I'd love to make a friend that progresses from there.  The more that I think about it, I don't think anyone could rush into a relationship with me...I am a bit stubborn, sometimes off the wall, hard to handle, and frankly, loving me is a long shot gamble.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Moving On.

It is now the eve of my Super Awesome Spartan Football Birthday Tailgate Roadtrip Extravaganza, and I was unsuccessful in finding someone to be my date.  Silverado will not be accompanying me for the weekend trip up to Michigan, and after much deliberation, mostly on my own behalf, but a bit mutually as well, things will not be progressing any further either.

The long-distance thing was just not working out for either of us.  I have my life in Nashville, and Silverado has his life 500 miles away, and at this time, it's just not in the cards to cross paths.  I am all for putting effort into a long-distance relationship, but ours was entirely long-distance.  Though it wasn't actually anything official, it was severed by a 5 hour commute.  There aren't any hard feelings, as I still feel like he is a great guy...a good catch for anyone who lives in the same zip-code, or even time zone as he does.  It was just my luck to meet an educated guy who was easy on the eyes and incredibly nice and who just so happened to be so far away.  With November about to draw to a close, and the holidays quickly approaching, there haven't been any plans made to see each other anytime soon, so it would just be better not to entertain the idea that a 5 hour commute is feasible.

Otherwise, I am incredibly excited for my trip up to Michigan, and my friend Asshat has been so generous as to donate his time to experience the 8th wonder of the world, known as Spartan Football in East Lansing, and make the trip with me.  

The Silverado saga draws to a close, but who knows, maybe I'll find myself out in East Tennessee one day, or he could end up in Nashville.  If nothing else, I did make a friend out of this situation, and frankly there are plenty of fish in the sea...for both of us.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Junk Mail.

The Missed Connection has been fizzling out, mostly because he is a 41 year old, possibly married, extremely closeted, allegedly 'curious' creep.  None of that sounds appealing to me, in the slightest bit.  I asked Missed Connection to send me a picture, because he obviously got a better glimpse of me than I did of him, and when 'chatting' with someone, I liked to put a face with a name.  

Missed Connection responded that he could not send pictures via email because it just was not safe for him.  He is just too super discreet to show his face picture, but asked me if there were any other pictures I would be interested in seeing.  What other pictures would I possibly be interested in seeing?  Usually in the gay world, 'other pictures' are pictures considered to be NSFW.  His exact words were:

"I am 41 and a bit your senior. LOL.

I am not even sure if you liked what you saw in your side mirror. I am 6'3" 215' slim workout but not a buff gym rat kind. 


I am good looking at a minimum, but that is in the eye of the viewer.  

Do you want to exchange any other pics?"   

I am not a proponent of 'other pictures', mostly because I know what a penis looks like, I don't need to see yours...and if I were that interested in seeing one, I could just look down.  This really was junk mail, and it is a shame my gmail spam filter didn't do a better job of weeding it out.  It's amazing to me how quick homos are to show off their junk to strangers online.  I wonder if this sort of thing happens in the straight dating world, like on eHarmony.com.  Did Joe Fox send a junk pic to Kathleen Kelly in the romantic flick, "You've Got Mail", and if so, did she find it flattering and realize that is what it took to win her heart?

I really did just want to see this guy's face, because I apparently did not notice, in the very brief glimpse that I got of him, that he was in his 40's.  And I really  want to know what he looks like, because I frequent the Starbucks on Carothers where this chance encounter first took place, and I'd like to know if he's there, so I can avoid him.  I guess if I see a Jeep in the parking lot or drive-thru, I know not to go there.  Also, what does it mean to be good looking at a minimum?  

Once again, I rejected his picture offer and he replied with:

"It was an open ended question.   I didn't mean to imply anything."

Perhaps he really just wants to show pictures of a recent trip he took to Mount Rushmore or the Grand Canyon, but even so, I'm not interested in that either.

It's safe to say that Missed Connection is out of the running for my Michigan State Football Tailgate Birthday Road Trip Extravaganza, unless he wants to wear a bag over his head so people cannot identify him.  Call me shallow, but I do not have time to deal with a closeted faceless man and his junk pictures, who I am guessing is really just looking to get his rocks off.  I am disappointed with my Missed Connection experience, I was hoping for a bit more, and frankly, it was less than I expected and nothing I wanted.  

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me!

OkCupid.com wished me a Happy 26th Birthday this morning.  I am completely content with turning another year old, because in my opinion I am one year closer and a few grey hairs to becoming a stunning silver fox.  I'd like to have a full head of silver hair by time I am 30, a la Anderson Cooper.  But after wishing me a Happy Birthday, OkCupid's email says:

"Still single? Come check out your matches and find the men who want to meet you for your birthday!"


What the hell is that about OkCupid??  Yes, I am still single, thank you for pointing that out, but from what I can tell, there is not a line of people dying to meet me for my birthday.  Perhaps I'd have better luck on Craigslist with something like that.  I don't have a problem with getting older, I do have a problem with the perpetual single-ness that I have been experiencing, and I don't need an online dating website to bring that to my attention. 


Having a date on my birthday would have guaranteed company for lunch or dinner, but perhaps I'll just treat myself at my favorite Mexican cantina anyway.  I'm a grown man, surely I can handle having lunch on my own, and if nothing else, Jose can be my date in the form of a delicious margarita, on the rocks, with salt.  


The older I get and the more profiles I encounter online, the more I wonder why these people attempt to shave years off of their ages.  Some people really do look a bit younger than what they actually are, and I mean a bit...just a bit.  Chances are if you are 40, you still aren't passing for 32.  If you tell me that you are 32 when you're actually ten years older, I just might think you've had a rough life in the fast lane and should probably tone it down a bit.  Plus if you're willing to 'fib' about your age, what else are you covering up?  If you're older, just admit it.  With age comes experience and maturity....sometimes.  Perhaps that's what I am looking for.  I don't think I'd care to date a 21 year old at this point in my life, but a 30 year old sounds good to me!  


I have decided that from now on I will start telling people that I am older than what I actually am.  I know that I can't pass for a 21 year old anymore, but if I told you that I was 32, you'd probably think I was aging incredibly well.  I had a blast being 25, but here's to turning 26, and frankly, I am ready to take on another year!  

Sunday, November 7, 2010

You've Got Mail.

My Missed Connection has been responding faster than I can keep up.  He is blowing up my inbox.

Most recently I have received this correspondence:

"No pressures here either and I agree that maybe meeting a new friend is cool.    Are you bi too?    How old are you?   I remember how sexy you looked, maybe I was feeling extra horny that day but you certainly caught my eye.  Have you connected with a guy before?   I have another married buddy of mine and we get together from time to time to play around.

I hope this isn't being to forward and I am certainly not saying that this might be your interests, but that is cool if it was"



It figures that this could not just be someone interested in a grabbing coffee at the Starbucks in which this 'connection' took place.  After reading through this gem of a message, my mind was flooded with many many thoughts.  


First, according to his last message he was straight, or bi-curious.  But now he's telling me how sexy I looked.  Why would a straight man tell another man how sexy he looked?  And also, I was behind my sunglasses, in a car ahead of him.  He could only see me through my sideview mirror.  For all he knows I could just have been a torso sitting on a stack of phone books in my car.  He didn't actually see me standing or anything.  


Secondly, I am not sure what his use of the phrase 'connected with a guy' means?  Like have I had a missed connection with a guy before?  No I have not, but now that I have, it is not living up to its expectations.  Have I had a relationship with a guy before?  Well yes I have had that, but that too didn't live up to its expectations either.


Third, it takes a classy gentleman to voice how horny he is to a complete stranger.


A red flag was raised when he came right out and said that he has a married friend, whom I can only assume is married to a woman, that he likes to fool around with.  I'm not ever looking for just a hookup with someone, but apparently my Missed Connection is bordering on the line of home-wrecker.


In closing he hopes he was not too forward by telling me he assists in the cheating of a man and his wife, and almost implies that he hopes a hookup will come from this. 


Deep down I was perhaps hoping that a Missed Connection would play out like a fairy tale love story.  Well scratch that, that just sounds stupid.  Perhaps it would be nice for a Missed Connection to be a friendship that lead to an exciting relationship.  For some reason, a hookup in the Starbucks drive-thru just does not sound as appealing to me.  In the movies this would totally have been two star-crossed lovers sharing a spark over coffee and going through great lengths to reconnect.  In my world, I come across a Jeep driving man, claiming to be 'curious' who probably just wants a piece of ass. 


The more I think about the whole concept of a Missed Connection, the more bewildered I become.  I could maybe, possibly, understand if this guy had been my barista at Starbucks, and after some light conversation which would have included him taking my drink ordered, decided that we could grab coffee sometime...that would perhaps make sense.  It doesn't make any sense to me that you could see a complete stranger in the car ahead of you, have no interaction whatsoever, and decide that you really wanted to meet up if for nothing more than just a hookup.  


Now I realize this falls on me too, as I actually replied to his ad, but I was just so damn excited to have a Missed Connection!  At this stage in the game I have no intentions with meeting up with Missed Connection, but email correspondences shall continue until I can at least get a picture of him, after all I would like to know what this fool looks like.  I'll try and get some personal information, perhaps his name or something so I can do some light Facebook-stalking, not that I have ever done that before to anyone, but inquiring minds need to know whom I am chatting with, and frankly, you never know what kind of dirt I could uncover.







      

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Starbucks - Carothers/Cool Springs Sat AM

After Halloween, this week got kind of crazy with work and finalizing birthday plans for my Nashville party and my Football Tailgate Roadtrip Extravaganza.  I was originally working on a post to pick up where I left off from Saturday night but as I was typing it up, I began to realize it just was not as funny as I thought it was in the moment.  It started to become one of those stories that you had to be there for, or would be a bit more humorous if I were to just tell you in person as opposed to typing it all out.


I was thinking that I was hurting for some interesting material, as I have hit another lull in the online dating world.  Nothing too thrilling or off the wall to write about.  Things with Silverado are kind of at a plateau at the moment, so there is not much to report on that front.  So when I have nothing else going on, one of my favorite past times is to read through the Missed Connections on Craigslist.  Whenever I am a bit bored with the events of my life, I know that I can find something interesting on Craigslist to lift my spirits because there sure are some crazy ass people out there.


With a coffee in my hand, I was just lightly skimming through the Missed Connections, and it actually has been a secret wish of mine to have one written about me.  So there I was, toggling between Farmville and Missed Connections while enjoying my morning coffee, and a post caught my eye.


It was titled:  "Starbucks - Carothers/Cool Springs Sat AM"


As I read the title I thought to myself...Hmmm, well I was at Starbucks on Saturday morning, and the more I thought about it, I did notice the guy behind me in line at the drive-thru.  But what were the chances that he would run home to post a Missed Connection, and what would be the chances of me reading the Missed Connections and stumbling across it, and on top of that, we did not have any actual interaction whatsoever.  I was in my car and he was in his car.


I clicked on the title to read the post:


"I was behind you in line at Starbucks. Seemed like we kept catching each other's eyes in the mirrors. You had some nice sunglasses.  This is probably a long shot, but if you see this let me know what college lettering is on the back of your car and if you remember.. what was I driving."


Hmm.  Odd.  I thought about the events of Saturday morning, and then checked my bank account to see if I actually had been at Starbucks that day.  Sure enough I had, and the more I thought about, there was a gentleman in a Jeep behind me.  I initially noticed his car first because the side view mirrors were tricked out with chrome trim, and actually the glare of the sunlight off of the chrome was a bit blinding.


Well I was at Starbucks, rocking a pretty sweet pair of shades, in the drive-thru, with my alma mater's logo across the back window of my car.  Obvi this post was about me, and I could not be more thrilled.  This was like an early birthday gift!  Even if they guy turned out to be a totally jack-wad, at least I have my very own, legit, Missed Connection written about me!


Not expecting a whole lot, because there was a chance that it actually was not about me, I went out on a limb and replied to the post.  I simply said that I thought it was me he was writing about and I was in a sliver car with awesome sunglasses.  


Shortly after I sent the message, I got a reply:



"Hey guy.. I never thought that I would get a solid reply on the post. It was actually the first time that I ever posted a missed connections. I have read them before, but mostly for the comedy factor. 

You got it right, so either your that dude or someone that should play the lottery because your a good guess. 

I am not even sure why I posted to be honest. Guess that I was just curious. I did find myself staring at you for some reason and i think it was more than the fact you were the car in front of me. LOL. I am not a gay dude, maybe curious or feeling a little Bi-curious. Consider myself straight but I do have thoughts. 

What's your thoughts about this?

Tomorrow is TGIF and I am ready for the work week to be over."

Well my thoughts are there are a few grammar and spelling errors that stick out like a sore thumb.  My secondary thoughts are that that was a lot of work to go through for someone who was just curious and considers himself to be straight.  I can't help but think that he's not as straight as he is claiming to be, but I don't think I am in the mood to deal with a flake.  A message like this really confirms that people on Craigslist are a bit crazy.

But of course I replied to this email as well, so we shall see how this little adventure plays out.  If nothing else it will provide for some good material!  

I will try to keep this story as up to date as possible, but it's my birthday weekend, and frankly, I've already started to celebrate.


Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The Adventures of Quailman: Part I

Sorry for the delays in posting, but it was been quite a crazy few days.  After a fun filled evening with the Golden Girls, it was Halloween weekend.  So much happened this weekend that my Halloween recap will be covered in two posts!  

Saturday I had to work a few hours then came home in time to see my Spartans get their asses beat by Iowa.  My heart was broken, and the only outlet for my feelings was to throw on my Quailman costume and head to the bar to drink away my sorrows.  I was meeting my friend Asshat and his friends at Tribe for a bit of Halloween debauchery.  From the moment I walked in the door, people were loving my totally awesome Quailman costume...but how could you not love a 90's Nickelodeon super hero?  Also I think a lot of people enjoyed it because I had a pair of tighty whiteys on the outside of my shorts, which were actually incredibly uncomfortable but made my ass look great.

Tribe was packed for the Halloween event, and I was having a difficult time deciphering who was actually in a costume and who was just dressed for the evening.  Unlike the skanks from the night before, most homos aren't just 'Sexy (insert noun)' for a costume, some people actually do put a bit of thought into what they are dressing up as, and it almost always gives everyone a chance to dabble with a bit of drag, a set of wings, and a whole lot of glitter, if only for one night of the year.  And in my case, walking into a gay bar with white briefs on the outside of my shorts is a sure fire way to get some attention.  A few people were interested in knowing if those were my normal underwear...which they ARE NOT, they were strictly for the costume.

I was making my rounds at the bar and generally having a good time.  On one loop back from the bathroom, one of my biggest fears became a reality.  I was heading back to meet with Asshat, my drink in hand, when I was cornered by the Nugget.  In the back of my mind I knew that eventually he would find me at some bar in Nashville, and finally it happened.  I was completely thrown off guard by this sudden bombardment.  He had no problem just walking right up to me and saying "Hey, haven't we been chatting?"

After I looked around and noticed the voice was coming from 3 feet off the ground, I was not sure if it were appropriate to squat down to chat with him or not.  In my defense, I am twice his height and we were in a bar...I would have a hard time hearing someone who was standing at eye level with me, let alone someone down around my knees.

To clear things up, the Nugget and I have actually not been chatting.  To be exact, he has been emailing me and I have stopped responding...months ago.  All I could respond with was "Oh, hey, what's up?"  I am all for having the guts to approach an incredibly good looking guy at the bar, but only if that good looking guy hasn't shot you down numerous times before via email.

He told me how he saw me walk in and thought it was me, but couldn't be sure.  I obviously could not see him through the sea of people, but now was wishing I had picked a costume that included a mask.  I really was not up for small talk...no pun intended...and was trying to find my way out of this incredibly awkward situation.  He asked what I had been up to and if I were having a good time.  I was having a good time up until now, and quickly realized my drink was almost empty, because the shock of the situation forced me to shotgun my Jack and Coke.

Nugget then asked "Can I buy you something?  At least a drink?"  Normally I would be more than happy to let someone buy me a drink, but this time I took the high road...again, no pun intended...and politely declined his offer, mostly because I didn't want to continue chatting and wasn't entirely sure what 'something' entailed.  At the gay bar, an offer to buy a drink almost always comes with strings attached, and those were some strings I did not want to deal with.

The conversation weakly carried on for just a bit longer with him making reference to my underwear, but it felt like hours and after another offer for a drink I needed to channel a line from Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion.  I actually told the Nugget that I had cut my foot earlier and my shoe was filling with blood, so I needed to leave.  I hope you all can appreciate this brilliant escape tactic of mine, because it worked.  I was soon able to be reunited with my friends.

I made a few more laps that evening, and managed not to run into the Nugget again.  Finally it was time to go home, I had had my fair share to drink for the night and with no one of any interest offering to buy my drinks there wasn't much point in staying any longer, and frankly I did not want to risk any other awkward situations.