Sunday, October 17, 2010

Miss December.

Friday evening was the Grizzlies' Red Dress Rampage Preview party, so after a long day at work, I was more than ready to head to the bar for a drink...or five.  

I decided to use my local celebrity status for a good cause, and partnered up with my new friend J to sell the Grizzlies 2011 Calendar.  A calendar featuring scantly clad rugby players was sure to be a hit in a bar full of men, and some lesbians, and some straight girls who brought along their 'straight' boyfriends for a birthday celebration.  J and I decided to have a friendly competition to see who could sell the most calendars between this.  I am always up for a good competition, and like any challenge, I aim to win.  

I faced my calendar challenge head on and came up with quite an amazing sales pitch.  In exchange for buying me a drink, I would sell them a calendar.  Obviously the conditions have to be quite favorable for this to work, and really it was very simple.  I would go up to someone who had noticeably been drinking and say, "I have a deal for you.  If you buy me a drink, I will sell you a calendar."  My idea actually worked quite well, and before I knew it, I was selling left and right, and to top it drink was always full.  

One patron asked for a kiss, so he got one...on the cheek.  Apparently that wasn't what he had in mind, and asked for a refund.  All sales were final, and I was only selling calendars, not myself.  

Along with selling calendars, I mingled with the crowd some, and enjoyed my free drinks.  My sales scheme worked so well, I sparked the interest of a guy sitting at the bar.  His roomate was insistent that I was perfect for him and that we should get to know each other.  By this point in the evening, it was a bit late and all parties involved had had a drink or two in their systems.  I mostly took this with a grain of salt, but kept up appearances by acting interested in the conversation.  I don't usually like to be set up my other people, especially when the person I am being set up is sitting right behind me, but not speaking up for himself.  After speaking at great lengths with Roomate Number 1, Roomate Number 2 stepped in.  I was soon able to discover that Roomate Number 2 had spent a brief period of her life living in Michigan, and next up came the ultimate deal breaker....

For what felt like an eternity, but was probably more like 4 minutes, Roomate Number 2 screamed at me about how much she hates Michigan State and will always be a Michigan fan.  She was actually yelling quite loudly, expressing her distaste for the greatest college of all time.  After she finished her tirade, she invited me out back to smoke a bowl.  I had to politely decline her offer, as I am not one who is interested in smoking pot, especially with a Spartan hating drunk Michigan fan.  The guy in question, who I did manage to have a limited conversation with ended up giving me his number...twice.      

After a few more laps around the bar, and a few more drinks, I did end up selling more than J.  I did my fair share of work to support the team, and frankly I am proud to support the Nashville Grizzlies, especially if I get to drink for free while doing so!  

P.S. Be sure to buy your very own calendar!  It's quite the hot commodity.

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