Saturday morning was the 2nd Annual Grizzlies Red Dress Rampage...a 5k fun run pub crawl, all while wearing a red dress and benefiting the rugby team the Belcourt Theatre...who wouldn't be excited? I had been looking forward to this event for months, and finally my stunning, full length, red sequin gown was prepared to make its debut. I managed to find quite the gem on Ebay a couple of months ago, and it has been hanging up in the attic ever since, but now it was time to be unveiled.
A few things had to be finalized for the event before I could get dressed, so I packed up the gown and headed off with the Homeowner to set up for the race. We ran a few quick errands then made it to the Belcourt Theatre to begin welcoming all of the Red Dressers. Funny enough, the Belcourt was also hosting the stage version of 'Snow White', and dozens of small children showed up in princess dresses while dozens of men showed up in red dresses. I can only imagine what those poor children thought.
After setting up, it was finally time to zip up my gown, polish my sequins, and lace up my running shoes. I made quite the entrance in my circa 1986 pageant dress, which was complete with tasteful pearl accents. It was such a hit of the event that I unanimously won the coveted Most Bejeweled 2010 award. In my opinion, this is the award to win and probably on par with something like Best Actress or an Emmy...I can now join the company of Kathy Griffin or Sally Field.
It cost a lot to look this cheap.
As I was walking up to accept my award, my phone was blowing up with numerous text messages from people in the room who could not wait to congratulate me. Since I was in a gown, with no pockets, my phone was tucked snugly away in the top of my dress and fervently vibrating against my chest. I had no time to respond, I had a trophy to accept! One of the texters actually couldn't even be bothered to speak to me to my face, but choose to text me things throughout the entire day.
Now it was time to take off and begin the race, after all, there was beer to drink! The Red Dressers all lined up and took off down the streets of Nashville in a mad dash to the first bar. It is quite liberating to run in traffic in a red gown, with the afternoon sun glistening off of the hundreds of sequins that made up my dress. I also had a trophy that I now had to carry as I ran, but thankfully, it was quite similar to running with a relay baton...so I was able to make due.
The race was now well underway and the Yazoo beer was flowing. At each stop, everyone wanted to get to know the now reigning Most Bejeweled 2010. I had to make my rounds and greet my tens of fans, and even managed to snap a few pictures. Someone was kind enough to tell me that I looked like Reba, specifically in the music video for 'Fancy', and I may or may not have replied with "Well I might have been born just plain white trash, but Fancy was my name!" Along the way I even made a new friend, who was a fellow award winner herself.
Fresh off of our wins, basically pretty damn fabulous.
With each passing leg of the race, I began to notice an odd trend; the more beer consumed by some of the Red Dressers, the more interesting I became to them. However, there was a point in time when we had some sort of fling anyway, so it was somewhat of a delayed rekindling. As enderaring as it may seem to once again become the interest of someone I've previously been interested in, it is actually not all that glamourous at all, mostly because I refuse to be my own sloppy seconds.
The last stop of the race was Cabana, and by now some of the Red Dressers were looking and acting like real hot messes. I on the other hand, was able to maintain my composure, and the sequins held up much better than I had originally expected. I thought for sure that I would be leaving a trail of red sequins throughout Hillsboro Village/Belcourt neighborhoods, and surprisingly enough, it really was not all that difficult to run in my dress.
Once again, I had to remind a certain rugger that we had in fact been on a date before, and that I was not about to make out in the middle of the bar with him. He had a his chance. As I was turning down awkward advances, the entire bar, all Red Dressers, broke out in a Glee 'Don't Stop Believin' sing along. It was a wonderful, site for sore eyes and ears, awe-inspiring moment.
The event was a ton of fun and a huge success. As the reigning Most Bejeweled 2010, I need to start looking for a dress for next year's race, it won't be easy to top what I wore this year, and frankly, life is a bit more fun when you wear a red dress.