Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Twilight, Anyone?

I was beginning to think that I was on the verge of letting my 10's of fans down, since I have not posted anything in a few days, but to be honest, nothing exciting has happened.  Yes, even I have a few dull moments in my life, and no progress has been made on a viable candidate for my totally awesome Spartan football birthday road trip.

Something completely unexciting and appalling happened at the bar this past weekend...I actually had to buy my own drinks.  The bar delivered extremely slim pickings, and I decided to uphold my integrity, just bite the bullet, and buy my own drinks.  I wasn't in the mood to deal with some douchebag or old man just to get a Bud Light out of the deal.

Last night I found myself at a Native American themed birthday celebration, complete with a bonfire and a fully functioning tee-pee.  For most people this may sound a bit odd, but it was just another Monday night for a guy like me, and before I knew it, I was sipping a glass of Jack on the rocks, while wearing a feather head dress.

However, I do have this gem of an email I received a few days ago:

"Hey man, i saw your profile.  I am 22 father of 2 and live with the mother of my children. I am bi but lean more towards girls, no offence guy but a womans body is beautiful. I've been working in kitchens for a long time now and love cooking also like fixings stuff and building stuff."


At first I disregarded this entire correspondence, but I received a follow up email:


"Hey man, get that letter I sent to you?  Get back with me."


I have not replied yet, mostly because I do not have anything to say.  What exactly am I supposed to 'get back' at you with?   I am confused by this entire situation.  After telling me that you currently live with the mother of your children, and that you are more interested in women than men anyway, what would you like for me so say?  Upon inspecting his profile, he listed his most noticed physical feature as his abnormally long canines. Yes, he apparently has long...teeth.  Everything about this match sounds so incredibly appealing, 22 bi and 2 kids and pseudo vampire teeth...sign me up!  I feel as though I would find checking my dating site emails a bit more enjoyable if I were drunk while doing it, and frankly, I'm not into Vamps.  









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