Thursday, September 2, 2010

Go Green!

I really do have a knack for attracting freaks, creeps, and anything that could be considered the slightest bit of a social deviant.  And my newest match is not an exception.

With my usual excitement, I log on to find new mail.  Check it out, and it all seems pretty legit and decent, might as well spark up a conversation.  We get to chatting a bit, he's a nurse interested in med school...I am a recent grad school graduate interested in med school...bonus.  Then he drops the bomb:

"Oh, you're a Michigan State fan"

Well no, I'm not a Michigan State fan, I am a Michigan State Spartan, but for all intensive purposes, that is neither here nor there.  This should have been a red flag, but I decided to continue onward.

It turns out that he allegedly went to the University of Michigan.  UGH.  And was an athlete there as well, claiming to have been a linebacker during the 2000-2001 football season (this bit of information has yet to be confirmed).

Now what in the hell do I want with a Wolverine?  I didn't date anyone from U of M when I lived in Michigan, I sure as hell am not about to start doing it when I live 500+ miles away.

So I am usually not the most compatible with fans of my Alma Mater's rival school, and I become even less compatible when they turn out to be completely odd.  I had to head out to work, and figured I had an hour drive followed by a 9 hour inventory shift, texting would not be terrible, if nothing else it would kill some time.

Big. Mistake.

Next thing I know, my phone is being blown up with messages about how much of a catch he is, how great he is, and how he likes to earn all of the bread (yes, that's what it said...I think it should be 'breadwinner').   Then come to find out he has lived all over the continental U.S., and has performed many different jobs including; nurse, dancer, and monk.  And finally wants to one day set up a clinic in Juneau, Alaska.  Next comes a pic of him blowing kisses and is titled 'txt kisses'.  Then comes a video of him signing a song, which was not all that audible, while driving.  All of these messages came within 5.4 minutes of each other, and  to top it all off...each messages includes a text signature of  ~: kisses :~

GAG. ME.

There are so many things wrong with this situation that I just need to nip it in the bud immediately.  A self gloating Wolverine (no surprise) who used to be a dancing monk who wants to be an Eskimo and uses a text signature!

I steer clear of anyone who uses a text signature, especially one that says 'kisses', and frankly, I have no interest in a Wolverine.  GO GREEN!

4 comments:

  1. GOOOOOOOOOOOOO GREEEEN!!!!!!!!!!! You're a civilized Spartan, you have no need for a mangy wolverine. Love you!!! Thanks for making my day a bit better!

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  2. Go White!!!!!! Text signatures are bad enough, let alone from a crazy wolverine. Keep his number though, so you can gloat after we kick their butts on 10/9!! Maybe you should send him a pic of your ass kicking foot...

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  3. GO GREEN!!! Never lower your standards to date an oversized weasel! I love it!!
    ~*Kisses*~

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  4. Intensive purposes? Or "intents and purposes"? I love this JOE! I thought I was the only one who used intensive purposes.

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