I don't think people truly understand how outrageously bizarre my dating life, or my life in general, can be. Sometimes I feel like it's one long sitcom, or perhaps a never ending episode of SNL. I wonder if other people out there experience such ridiculousness, on an almost daily basis. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I really do have a knack for attracting the craziest, most off the wall, out of control kind of date. Once again, my crazy magnet was fully functioning.
After the premiere of Glee I hopped online to see what exciting things were going on with the online dating world. My inbox was blowing up with messages concerning some sort of 'free event' that Chemistry.com was hosting, so I thought I'd check it out. I wasn't expecting much, because Chemistry.com has a way of making you think it will be free but then sticks you with the low low cost of $19.99 a month, only if you sign up for 6 months...otherwise it's about $49.99-$59.99 a month. Well that sure was lame, their 'free event' was allowing you to look at a profile, and send what they call an 'ice breaker' to a match, and the match can respond with an 'ice breaker', but the buck stops there...unless you pay some bucks to keep going. I was quickly losing interest in this little game of Chemisty.com's, and I sure was not about to pay anything, so I hopped over to one of my free sites.
My go-to free site was a bit lame as well, until I had a chat request. Not doing much else at that time, I decided to accept, after all, I didn't have too much to lose, it wasn't like I had any other promising prospects. The conversation started out half-way decently, and he mentioned he was looking for friends and a relationship. The usual was covered right off the bat, what do you do, what are you looking for, how tall are you, can you drink as much as I do...all the basics. Well this wasn't terrible I thought, and proceeded on.
Next he asked me how late I was staying up. At this point in time it was only about 8:30p, so going to bed wasn't my next priority, the night was still young, and Teen Mom had not even started yet, clearly I would be up for at least another few hours.
He then followed up his question with, "Well I will don't go to work until 10 tomorrow."
Oh geeze, I thought to myself...clearly this is headed down the path of leading into a late night hookup, and as I have said before, that's just not my style. At least buy me a drink first, and not a 2 for 1 well drink.
He then proposed a game of naked Phase 10.
What. The. Hell. A game of naked Phase 10? He even offered to teach me how to play. Well, since I completed the second grade, I actually do know how to play Phase 10, and I have only ever done it fully clothed...I also intend to keep it that way. Don't get me wrong, I do love a game of Phase 10, but I didn't take the bait right away and next thing I knew, Phase 10 (as he shall now be referred to as because he never actually told me his name) got pissed. Phase 10 was mad that I was "playing into his offer and not coming over." I never once suggested that I was interested in a card game, especially one from my childhood, and furthermore, especially playing a childhood game naked with a complete stranger.
Phase 10 signed off and I just figured that was that, and I was moving on with my night. Nope. I was wrong. Phase 10 was back online about 25 minutes later and this time he was very apologetic that he blew up on me, but he couldn't help it because I was 'blue balling' him and I was just so damn hot.
Ahh so clearly, Phase 10 is perhaps bipolar, or just crazy. After his apology I just stopped replying, my inbox still has 3 or 4 unread messages from him, perhaps I will read them later this afternoon. I lost all interest at the thought of Phase 10, and frankly, I am not interested in clothing optional games with a psycho.